Rest Days

So…since I had so much “fun” on Saturday, I decided a few rest days were in order. ;) Ok, some of that was decided for me by the doctor. And some of that was drilled into me by my family and friends. But I listened to all of them and have done nothing since. The most strenuous thing I’ve done is walk to Chipotle for lunch yesterday.

Aren’t you proud of me?

I knew that with my run streak, I’d not had a day off running for 109 days but thought I had taken a full rest day or two after the Nanny Goat 12HR on Memorial weekend. But I looked back at my blog and saw that I had done some riding on those days. So the last time I took a complete day off was May 22^nd!

I think I was due for one. Or four.

I don’t think I was overtrained but my body definitely needed the rest.

You know how I know this? Normally, if I don’t run or ride I start getting antsy. I miss the endorphins and I miss the joy of running and riding and moving my body. But not this time.

When I was laying in the hospital bed in ER, I had a lot of time to think…

I wonder if someone put my Brooks in the car. I love my new shoes. Would totally suck if they were gone and I only got to wear them once. I wonder if my car is locked. I wonder if I’m going to get a ticket. I wonder if my car will be there when I get back. I hope they don’t make me stay overnight. I hope I don’t have to take a taxi back to my car in a hospital gown. Thank god they didn’t have to cut off my shorts. I love those shorts. Hey, I don’t have any shoes here. I wonder where my car keys are? I guess my run streak is over.  I wonder when I can run again. I wonder if I will want to run again. Why are there buttons for a tv on this remote if there’s no tv in here? Watching my monitors is not as fun as watching tv. Speaking of tv…why are there no McSteamys or McDreamys here? ;)

A lot of random stuff, huh? And that's not even half of it! But the one thought - “I guess my run streak is over.” - told me the most about where I was because I was actually a little relieved it was over.

Shocking, right?

I’ve had no desire to run or ride the past few days which is wild to me. Especially considering all the drama of Saturday and then the pending loss of my aunt. I would be in my apartment and see my bikes or my running shoes and look at them with a sort of detachment, not really seeing them. Last night, I asked twitter if I should set my alarm to run today or take one more day off and most people voted for another day off. And again I was relieved. Because honestly…the thought of running or riding again made me nervous. My knees would actually get a little shaky.

I didn’t WANT to run or ride today but I felt like I NEEDED to so I could get past the nervousness I’m feeling about it. I know I’ll be fine once I do run. I just need to get out the door.

This morning, I found out that my aunt passed away. I was expecting the call but it is still really hard. It’s so hard to believe that one minute someone you love is there and the next minute they are gone. That you’ll never hear their voice again. Never get a hug from them again. Never see their smile or hear their laugh again. Death sucks.

When I heard, I thought “I really wish I could go for a run right now.”

Today is the first time since Saturday that I WANTED to run. Because I miss it. Because it makes me feel good and alive and strong and happy. Because it’s my therapy. Because it’s fun.

So tomorrow I WILL run again.

I’m ready.