My Luck Ran Out

Last Friday, I confessed on twitter that I have not been running 100% since last September.

*I ran with swollen, achy toes on my left foot from Sept thru Jan.
*I ran with a beat up ITB for a month or so after my bike crash in Oct.
*I ran with a sore groin after I pulled it before my 10K (end of Nov-end of Feb).
*I ran & rode with a sore arm/shoulder since Jan (still an issue).

But now I've hurt my right foot and I think my luck (or my stupid is as stupid does ability to run thru injuries) has run out.

My foot most likely was stressed already and I tipped it over the edge playing xbox with my niece & nephew last weekend. In the last round I played (where I was jumping and dodging obstacles), I knew I'd landed wrong and I thought I'd actually hurt my knee because it was the one that had the sharp pain but it was fine. It was my foot that started hurting later and when I woke up the next morning it was still achy. I probably, no, definitely should not have done the 30K that day. I was kind of basing it on the other stuff that I'd already dealt with…that it wouldn't be pleasant but that I wouldn't do any more harm than I had already. Only my foot got worse. I took a week off from running and it got better. Yay.

So, of course, I tried running on Sunday. This time I played it “smart” (ha!) and listened to my body. I quit after a quarter mile when my foot felt worse with each step. I walked home, crying. My foot was achy the rest of the day but it felt better again on Monday. In fact, this morning I woke up and there was no pain and I thought maybe, just maybe I could run tomorrow but then I started walking around and it started hurting again and feeling warm. Sigh. It's just not looking good for Saturday.

To top it all off, my car is giving me grief. I took it in for routine maintenance and an oil change on Saturday ($75) and ended up spending $375 more for 2 new tires. Which should have been the end of it except when I drove home on the freeway (for the 1st time since the new tires) on Sunday night, my car was shaking so much I thought my teeth would rattle right out of my head. Short staffed at work means no time to take off to get it fixed so far this week. So...IF my foot feels better by Saturday, do I risk driving down there…on narrow mountain roads…in the dark…and pray that my wheels don’t fall off? I could probably take tomorrow morning off to get it looked at but I don’t know who to take it to: the dealer (more $$) or the tire place (free, maybe, but prob caused the problem)? Frankly, I am so frustrated and tired right now, I just want to kick my car and ride my bike forever.

Anyway…I've pretty much given up the idea of running the Old Goats 50 Miler on Saturday (there’s still 5% of me that thinks I can run it – I'm a dreamer, what can I say, and I really wanted that stupid Goat bling). Maybe I'm giving up to easily. Maybe I'm not made of steel like I thought I was. I just don't know. Part of me thinks I COULD still do it (if I get my car fixed tomorrow). But part of me wonders if I SHOULD do it. Really, the biggest thing that's looming over me is that I cannot do so much damage to my foot that I can't walk (needed for work) or ride at all (needed for my sanity). I seriously CANNOT take another 2 to 3 weeks of running (needed for my soul) down time. I have been going nuts but trying not to be too negative. The only time I let myself cry is on the bike. So the wind can get rid of the evidence. :)

So that's where I'm at 3 days before my 1st 50 Miler is scheduled. I know no one but me can determine whether or not I should do it. But I wish there was a Magic 8 Ball I could ask for the definitive answer. Why has no one invented that yet?!?! Sheesh. It's the not knowing that's hardest. The hoping that won't let me rest. The NEED to not be a quitter. Honestly, those are the things that kept me running thru the other injuries so I probably need to tell them to SHUT UP. But how do I do that?