What If...

I have TWO milestones this week: tomorrow will be day 100 of my run streak and Friday is my 4 year Runiversary. I guess if I'd timed it better, I would have hit day 100 on my runiversary but I wasn't planning it so it's okay. :)

So...4 years of running. Considering how much I hated it in the beginning, if you'd have told me I'd be running every day and loving it, I'd have said:

I love that clip! It's my favorite quote from the movie. :) Anyway, back to the runiversary thing...

While I'm happy that I fell in love with running and that I've been running for 4 years, I can't help but feel a little bit of regret that I didn't start running earlier. Like 10, 20, or more importantly...30 years ago. I can't help wondering how my life would be different.

So many of the bad decisions I've made and all the times I hurt the people I love were because I hated myself. I know it sounds harsh but I was a total screw up. Overweight, unhealthy, in serious debt, a college drop-out, always alone...I can't even begin to tell you how much I hated life. I was depressed and angry and overwhelmed and scared. Sometimes I was scared to be alone because I...I used to hurt myself. So yeah, I hurt myself, I ate A LOT, and I bought shit I didn't need. All because I couldn't deal with my emotions and I used them as an outlet so I wouldn't drive off a cliff. Yes, that thought entered my mind...more than once.

I made so many mistakes. I still cry and cringe when I think about some of them. I haven't totally forgiven myself. I should. I know. It just hasn't happened yet.

So I wonder what would have happened if I'd had running as an outlet when I was 14, if Friday was going to be my 30th Runiversary instead of my 4th. Would I have gained all that weight? Would I have accumulated all that debt? Had to deal with high blood pressure and a bad back and bad knees? Would I have dropped out of college, not once but twice? Would I have the job I really wanted instead of the one I settled for? Would I have fallen for a man who shredded my heart and confidence? Would I be married and have children now? Would I have loved myself enough to let someone else love me too?

I know I can't go back and change things. I know that I have to live with the life I have. And it's not a bad life. I worked hard to clean up my life: lost weight, got healthy, and paid off my debt. I'm having fun and traveling places I never thought I'd get to see. Actually, I have an amazing life right now. :)

It's just...what could I have done, what could I have accomplished if I hadn't waited until I was 40 to build the life I wanted? Who would I be if I'd been happy all those years from 15 to 40.

I know that running isn't the only thing that makes me a happy and whole woman right now but I have to tell you that because I'm running, I feel calmer and stronger and more ready to deal with things that go wrong. I feel more beautiful, more sexy, and more fun than I ever felt before and part of that is because I love how my body can move now and how far my legs can take me. It gives me confidence in my body I NEVER had before. That makes be feel like Wonder Woman.

The woman I am now...Lisa the runner...doesn't need to buy things to feel better. She doesn't need to settle for a man who doesn't love her but won't let her go. She doesn't need to eat to find comfort. She isn't scared anymore. She doesn't feel like she has to hide. She's happy. I'm happy. :)

But still...just what if...

What if this Lisa had existed all along?

Life is too short to waste 25 years.

I wish I hadn't.

Run It Fast 2013

My theme for 2012 was the Year of Animal Racing. It was an awesome theme because it led me to some very cool races and I ran thru some very cool places and got some wild medals! Let me tell you...names with animal races do not disappoint in the bling department!

And while I had fun during 2012, something terrible happened...my speed vanished. Without a trace.

Ok, that might be a little dramatic because there were a couple of times that I raced that I came pretty close to my PRs (Firecracker 5000 and Disneyland Half). But for the most part, I called its name and heard nothing but silence. ;)

I WANT MY SPEED BACK!!!

Come back, damn it!

So that's what I'm going after this year and my theme for the year is Run It Fast 2013. I'm racing less and going back to basics. I'm going back to what I learned from Jason at Strength Running when he was coaching me. I'm going to run my ass off and lower my PRs from the 5K to the marathon in 2013. That's my goal and I'm stating it now.

Sadly, I have a LONG way to go before I get back into my 2011 shape, the year I set the PRs for those distances. I just don't understand how I went so wrong last year. Well, actually...I do. I was more worried about spending time on my feet as I trained for JJ100 than I was about running fast and the vast majority of my runs were done at really slow paces. You now the old saying "train fast to race fast"? Well, I didn't do any of that. I also slacked off on my strength work so while my endurance went way up, my strength and speed went way down.

One of my "jobs" for RIF - The Club is the club newsletter and I have to tell you, I sometimes get a little (ok, a lot) jealous reading everything the club members have accomplished while I put the newsletter together. Age group wins, PRs...I want that too! Don’t get me wrong…Run It Fast is NOT about being the fastest coyote on the block. It’s about being the fastest YOU possible…the best running YOU possible…reaching your full potential as a runner. I can’t honestly say I lived up to that in 2012. I stretched myself but I didn’t push myself. You know? I ran long but I ran easy. But I’m through with that!

So, I took the month of December off to rest and did not allow myself to go over 5K on my runs (unless it was for a race I'd already signed up for) and I did ZERO bike commuting. I guess I needed the break but it was hard. I felt sluggish and I didn't stop eating what I had during marathon/ultra training so I, uh, put some weight back on. Sigh. I felt chubby. I felt crummy. At least, I did. Even up to Saturday when I ran the New Year’s Race Half Marathon in LA. Oh yeah, I forgot to do a race report so here’s the bling for that:

Very shiny, eh?

But this week…this week I feel fired up. I feel like the old Lisa. No scratch that. I feel like a new Lisa who is ready to run and work hard and go after what she wants. I feel like a runner girl with some sass right now. Although, I guess that could be from the red streaks I got this Saturday when I had my hair highlighted. Nothing says fired up and sassy like red hair, right?!?!

Yeah, I'm back baby! So maybe the rest DID do me some good. :) I still hated it though!

Anyway, I hope you’ll follow along with me during Run It Fast 2013 and watch me Run It Fast! :)

P.S. If you'd like to send me some speedy vibes, I'd appreciate it!

That's All She Wrote

For 2012 anyway. ;)

These are my 2012 stats:
Ran 2,674 miles (Yay!)
Rode 3,593 miles (Oops...my poor bikes!)
Racing: 30 races (see below, the monthly # in the top row is the number of race miles for the month)

Little did I know when I started the year that I would be racing that much or do that many ultras. I wasn't even planning any marathons for 2012 but ended up running 4! And 5 ultras? Yeah, that was a surprise to me too.

This year hasn't all been peaches and roses (foot injury, DNS for Old Goat 50, DNF for Death Valley, that stupid ER trip that cost me so much money...sigh) but the good far, far outweighed the bad. When I think about 2012, I have some incredible memories that make me smile. I had some awesome adventures that I never dreamed I would have. I saw some wild and beautiful places that took my breath away and raced in the Happiest Place On Earth! Because of running, this year I got to visit Graceland and Mt. Rushmore and run near Area 51. What more could a girl ask for?

So many times when I clicked the submit button for a race this past year, I was scared out of my running shorts. Could I do it? Could I run technical trails? Could I run a race with 5700 ft of climbing? Could I run at 7000 Ft elevation? Would I get lost during a trail race? Would I get eaten by a mountain lion or a bear? Heck, I was even worried about crewing Josh (would I lose him/fall asleep/get maped by a moose). Yes, I have a great imagination but sometimes it's a disadvantage when you think up worst case scenarios!

So obviously, I didn't get eaten by a wild animal. And I did get lost a couple of times but managed to find my way back! And I survived all of the challenges that I put myself through and had fun while I was doing it! That's one of my biggest lessons from 2012. I CAN DO IT. It may take me a while and I may have some things to learn, but I can take care of myself...and others. I just have to take things one step at a time and not let it overwhelm me.

One other great thing about this year was the camaraderie I felt with runners at races. A lot of my races have been lonely. Oh sure, my family has gone to see me race and I've met runners on the course but for the most part, I run by myself. This past year was filled with running with others though and I really appreciated it. It made me feel like part of a larger community. Some of that has come from Twitter and Run It Fast - The Club but some of it has also come from meeting local runners and catching up with them at races. Some of the moments that bring a smile to face are finishing the JJ50K with Josh and Naresh, running ETFMM51K with Cliff, running Disney with Teal & Beth, and running with everyone at Flying Monkey.

What else did I learn in 2012? I learned I love trails. I learned I love doing things I didn't think I could do. I learned that I don't want to just do a race because it's a fast course but because the course is beautiful or challenging or unique or because there's something about the area I want to explore. I don't want to race for racing's sake. I want adventure. I need adventure. It makes the Indiana Jones in me very happy. :)

So I plan to do more of that!

Happy New Year! May 2013 be a fabulous running year for you!

My Top 10 Running Moments of 2012

Everyone keeps reminding me about what a fantastic year I've had. And I have. 2012 was amazing and took me on some incredible adventures and to some very cool places. I had no idea when I started my Year of Animal Racing for 2012 that I would be racing that much or that far or meeting so many great runners. My only goals for 2012 were these:

• Have fun!!! 
• Run on dirt more. 
• Run races with the names of animals in them. 

Woo! Mission accomplished! I love that I accomplished all my goals for 2012. Even though it doesn't feel like I'm having that much fun this month, I have had fun this year. I've also done a ton of trail races. And I ran all kinds of animal races.

Success!

Since it's the end of the year and it's fun to look back, I thought I would share my Top 10 Running moments of 2012:

10. ET Full Moon Midnight 51K - This was my 3rd 50K but also my first night race. This was one crazy run but a lot of fun since it was outside Area 51 and really made my inner geek happy. :) I may or may not have seen any UFOs or aliens but I did get to meet an RIFer there and got to run a lot of miles with Cliff and made a great friend. :)

9. Big Sur Trail Marathon - This was one of my slowest marathons so I'm kind of surprised I included it in this list. But it was hard and challenging and a beautiful run and it was the comeback race I needed after not getting my 50 miles in 2 weeks before it. And it was a fun and cool road trip that I could enjoy because I wasn't driving for once!

8. Leading Ladies Marathon - This was my first trip to South Dakota and I got to see Mt. Rushmore! Something I'd never thought I'd do. I did this only 2 weeks after the ET Full Moon Midnight 51K and didn't train for marathon speed and didn't taper but managed to pull out a 4:25 there so I was very happy with that. Not to mention the course was GORGEOUS and I got to meet 2 fellow RIFers (Run It Fast - The Club members) there. The Leading Ladies is my favorite marathon so far.

7. Crewing Josh at YT100 - I'm including this in MY running moments because although I didn't run, it was a great weekend of running and being inspired. Plus, I'd never been to Idaho or Wyoming before and I got to see plenty of both states while crewing for Josh (@bayou).

6. Flying Monkey Marathon - This was my 2nd race in Tennessee race and it was a ton of fun because I met so many RIFers there and got to catch up with some RIFers that I hadn't seen since February. Basically, it was like a big running party. And the bling was awesome!

5. My Birthday Run - Not a race but a run I did on my own on my birthday. I ran up Lower Monroe Truck Trail to watch the Tour of California. It's not often I get to combine 2 of my favorite things in one swoop. Not only did I get some great trail running and climbing in but I got to see boys on bikes (especially Jens Voigt)!

4. Disneyland Half Marathon - This was my first Disney race and it was a total kick. It made me feel like a kid and I was grinning from ear to ear the entire time. I also got to meet Teal & Beth (@LifeIsARun) there! Another total blast! The Disneyland Half is my favorite half marathon so far.

3. Joining Run It Fast - The Club - Not one running moment exactly. More like lots of them! Wearing the RIF shirt has been a ton of fun at the races...lots of cheers. It's also allowed me to make some great friends and get to know some very inspiring runners. I'm also getting to do a lot of fun stuff for the club like interviews and newsletters, etc. Some seriously major fun the whole year!

2. Endure the Bear 15K - This was my first race at altitude and it was hard, but beautiful! I went into it intending to run it hard and I did AND got 2nd in my age group! Woo! Loved, loved, loved getting on the podium. :) This one is definitely a fun memory. The day was made even better because Josh (@bayou) was there running the 50K and I got to meet and hang out with his family while we waited for him to finish the 50K. His kids are SO cute!

1. Jackson Jackass 50K - This was my first 50K and my first trip to Tennessee thanks to an invite from Josh (@bayou). It had poured the night before the 50K so the trail was a muddy mess  and it was HARD and I was nervous as hell but I finished it! And I got to hang out with some very cool, fun runners. Total blast!

So that's my top 10. Pretty cool list, huh? Kind of funny that I have 3 marathons on the list when I wasn't planning to run any this year. It was actually kind of hard to narrow it down to 10 because I left off some really cool runs like the Safari Park Half and Stonewall Peak Half. And I didn't even have room for my 1st 100K or all the other tweet-ups I had. Sheesh.

What a year! :) I was pretty lucky, eh?

Holly Jolly Half Marathon Recap

On Sunday, I ran my 19 half marathon and it was my second weekend in a row for back –to-back races.

Sunday’s half was the Holly Jolly Half Marathon in Camarillo, CA. I didn't race this half marathon either. It would have been a good course to race though since it was double loop, flat road course and the weather was cool with a light rain. PR weather and course...but not for me.

I didn’t push myself during Saturday’s Paramount Ranch Trail Half so I didn’t feel tired and since it was a trail race, I didn’t feel beat up either. I was good to go for my last race of 2012!

This race didn’t start until 8 but was a little farther away so I only got to sleep in until 4:30. I got up, ate, got ready and then drove over to Camarillo. It was raining a little but for once there were no accidents on the freeways so I made it in good time. I got my shirt and bib and then went back to the car to stay warm. At the last minute, I decided to wear the shoes I’d worn for Saturday’s race so I spent about 30 minutes prying the mud from the trails off the shoes. What a mess! I almost gave up and wore the ones I’d driven over in but I would be thankful I did later.

The race started exactly on time after a few instructions from the RD and we headed out. The first 2ish miles were on the road and then we turned onto a river bike path for a while. It was nice and quiet and a good surface to run on. My left knee was a little sore from Saturday but after the first couple of miles it was fine. Although the majority of the course was flat, there were a couple of dips and small hills on the course and it was when we first hit those little downhills that I realized my quads were toasted from the day before. They did okay on the first lap though. I ran the first loop in a little under 1:15 and hoped the second loop would be the same.

When we headed out on the second loop, there was a man in front of me with a shirt that said Gooner 1 on it. I’m not sure why but I decided that I could not let someone with a shirt like that beat me! We were going pretty much the same pace but I was slowly reeling him in. Then about a mile into the second lap, he started walking a little so I passed him. But then he started running again and passed me back. :( But I just kept running my own pace. Pretty soon, he started walking again and I passed him again and then that was it. The course was a little curvy so I would catch glimpses of him behind me until about 4 miles to go. Then I wouldn’t see him again until the end.

Up until mile 11, I was thinking I would make it by 2:30 but at mile 11, my legs went dead and from that point on I started doing a run/walk. :( Mostly running with a small bit of walking here and there and the last mile had almost no walking. I kept looking over my shoulder for the Gooner guy because I still was not going to let me beat him! And I’d also passed a 14 year old boy around mile 10 and I didn’t want him to pass me back either. Hey, I’ll take motivation from wherever I can get it!

Finally, I was almost at the finish. We actually have to pass the finish and do a little out and back to get the whole mileage in which is not very nice. But it did give me a chance to see that boy again and then the Gooner guy so I could make sure they wouldn't catch me. ;) The Gooner guy gave me a smile and a little clap when he saw me and I laughed and smiled back. He must have known that I was using him to keep going!

And then I was across the line and I’d finished my 13^th half marathon of the year in 2:35 and change. Blah. But I was just glad it was done. My legs were sore and tired and I was hungry! Here’s my medal:

Cute medal, eh? 

So that's all the coyote wrote for 2012 racing. I wish I could have ended 2012 with a bang instead of a whimper but I can’t be too upset because this was my 30^th race of 2012. Looking back on my race history, I did a total of 18 races from 2009 to 2011. 18 races in 3 years versus 30 races in one year! And this was the first year I did some Christmas runs which are a lot of fun. I would not give up any of the medals/buckles/coasters I've earned this year so I would not have done anything different. I think. It was a fun, amazing year and I'm glad I did all this racing. If nothing else, I learned some good lessons!

Thanks for reading!

Paramount Ranch Trail Half Marathon Recap

Today, I ran my 18th half marathon and the 12th this year. I had NO idea when I started 2012 that I would be running that many. It wasn't planned but I find that I really like running halfs. All the fun of a race, putting in some good miles and time on my feet, and I'm not beat up by them. Usually.

Once again, I had no plans to race this half. I wanted to do it but not dig myself into a deeper hole than I'm in. I wanted to do this one for a couple of reasons. First, Keira Henninger (@KeiraHenninger) puts on quite a few local races that I've heard great things about. I have a couple of them on my to-do list, especially her Griffith Park Trail Half Marathon and the Ray Miller 50/50. Second, this was the inaugural running of the Paramount Ranch Trail Half Marathon and it's held on an old western movie set on National Park Service Land. How often do you get to run a race on a movie set?! I could be discovered! Well, probably not...but you never know. ;)

So I was going to run it and take lots of pictures and just enjoy my time on the trails. No worries about cut-offs or pushing or pace. Just savor the adventure of a new trail. As an added bonus, I found out in the last couple of days that some runners I knew were going to be there. Yay!

I got up at 4, did my usual pre-race routine, and left about 4:45 for the race. I love early starts but they sure are hard when the drive to it is over an hour away. I got there a little after 6 and went to check in to get my bib and shirt. When I walked in the barn door, I was greeted by Tiffany (@RunningHutch) who I met in May when we volunteered for a 50K. We talked for a little bit and then I met Ricardo (@Ribeezie) who I met thru my blog. That's one great thing about wearing Run It Fast gear...you're easy to recognize! I went back to my car to stash my shirt and get my shoes. Then I hit the restrooms and went back to the barn to wait til it was time to race. I got to talk to Ricardo for a while more and then Ryan (from the Old Goat races and Big Bear) came in so caught up with him a little. Fun times! :)

The race started promptly at 7 after a few words from Keira about us paying attention so we wouldn't get lost. LOL. I think she was looking at me! Well, maybe not. But she could have been. So everyone, the 10K and half marathoners, set off together. It was a little crowded in the beginning so there were places we bunched up and had to walk but that was okay. I wasn't in a hurry.

The trail was lush and a little damp...and muddy. Yeah, cuz it rained pretty hard the past couple of days and there wasn't a chance for the trails to dry out. I hoped it wouldn't be too bad though! I was having JJ50K flashbacks! But no, it wasn't that bad. A little sloppy in parts but very run-able. It was foggy and overcast on the first loop but still very cool. It was pretty much all hills so we were either going up or down but there wasn't anything very technical.

I always worry that I'm going to hold people up so the 2nd loop was more fun for me. It really thinned out so it was just me an few others running about the same pace for most of that lap. The sun had burned off the fog and it was very pretty.

The only really technical part was a river crossing on boards. I'm happy to report I didn't fall in the river and I didn't fall in the mud! No falls for me today so that was a victory right there! I also found this sign which made me smile.

See...I was meant to run this race! I joked on Instagram that this is one of the reasons I get lost...too many choices on which direction to go. But I didn't get lost once although I had to think about which way to go once. But I also helped reel back in another runner who missed one of the turns. :) The course was really well marked and there were volunteers at some of the trickier turns but if you were daydreaming...which I was that one time...then you could go astray. Luckily, that didn't happen.

When I was on loop 1, I felt tired. I seriously thought about dropping to the 10K when I finished the first loop (well, it was actually 6.5ish miles) but when I got back to "town", I found myself in the lane for the 2nd loop and just kept going. I'm glad I did because I had more fun on the second loop. It was slower than the first but I stopped to take more pictures and talked to some fun runners and had a great time out there enjoying the views.

I was happy to finish. Yay! And get my medal from Keira...

Which I thought was very cool. :) My first pair of cowboy boots! And then I wandered around town for a while and took some pics.

And then I drove home.

I felt pretty good. My foot did great during the run. My left knee wasn't happy on the downhills but it was fine. I wasn't overly tired or achy. I feel okay with my effort today. I have another half tomorrow...the Holly Jolly Half Marathon...and I feel like I left enough in my legs to run it tomorrow. Hopefully. :)

All in all, today was a good day. The race was awesome: great course, great support and aid stations, well marked, and sweet bling (we also got a drawstring bag, a whistle, and the latest issue of Trail Runner besides the medal and the shirt). Definitely would recommend this race if you are looking for a fun trail run next year!

And most of all...mentally, I had a good day on the trail. Something I REALLY needed. Whew. :)

The only disappointment I have for the day is that I forgot to get pics with the Tiffany, Ricardo, and Ryan. Oh, and I didn't see any movie stars. Not even @bayou. Darn. ;)

Nothing Is Impossible

But something's gotta change first.

So…I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do next year. I actually started rethinking my goals for next year during the Death Valley Trail Marathon. I had a lot of time to think out there.

Do I want to keep doing marathons? Do I want to keep doing ultras? Do I want to continue my runstreak (Day 65 now)?

What do I want?

I feel like there are things I need to do next year…things I didn't finish this year...unfinished business. But right now I don't want to train for a 100 miler. I don't want to do Death Valley again.

Mostly, I don't want to be slow.

And that's my problem. I don't want to just finish or just get them done. I don’t want to have to worry about missing cutoffs. I want to finish strong AND fast. I don’t want to do a 100 miler or DVTM again until I know I can do them well.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a friend about the Savage Gulf Marathon. I don’t really want to do it. I’ve seen the pictures and it’s beautiful but it’s also incredibly hard. He told me that right now, I wouldn’t be able to do it because I couldn’t make the cut off. Ouch! I know he’s right but damn it…I don’t want him to be right! :( Yeah, I know that’s contrary of me because I said I don’t want to do it but I do want to be that runner that he thinks COULD do it. Does that make sense?

One of the things that really frustrates me is that I see others who've been running as long as I have (or less) and they are running a LOT more…doing 100s or marathons every weekend…and getting PRs left and right. They’re pulling out BQs and going sub 24 at a 100 and running 20 min 5Ks. How come I'm not doing that? Why am I getting slower? What am I doing wrong?

I WANT to run ultras but I want to be fast too. I'm not sure I can do both right now. I think I need to work on getting my speed back. Really work on that. I can do that, right? It's not impossible. Nothing is impossible.

As much as I don’t want to, I think I need to cut back on racing long next year. Less tapering and recovering will give me more time to fit in speed work and tempos and hopefully leave me less exhausted so I can be faster. Right now I’m thinking that 3 marathons next year is all I should do. 2 for fun and 1 for fast. MAYBE 1 or 2 ultras in the form of a 10 HR or 12 HR so there's no pressure and I can just do what I want. I plan to fill up the rest of the year with 5Ks, 10Ks, and Halfs. Not a lot but enough to keep me satisfied and get me running/racing fast. 

It's so hard because there are so many great races out there. How do I pick just a few to do? I love racing. I love the atmosphere and pushing myself. Or at least I used to. It hasn't been like that lately so that's why I know I need to change something or I'll burn myself out. I definitely don't want to do that.

Here's what I'm planning:

My first marathon in 2013 will be the Bataan Memorial Death March in New Mexico in March. It's hard and hot and sandy but I want to experience it before the veterans are gone.

Then I will use that as a jump off for the Run Under The Stars 10 Hour Endurance run in Kentucky in June. I might do the Nanny Goat again or a 50K in May to celebrate my 45th birthday. Something special. (I'm open to ideas!).

After RUTS, I'll have 2.5 months to get ready for Leading Ladies in August. I think this will be the marathon that I race. I think I can do really well there. I liked the course and it was a beautiful place to run. Plus, I would like to explore more of the area.

My third marathon next year will hopefully be the Flying Monkey. I want to go back and run that better. I want to run it rested and after having trained specifically for it. I know it probably won't be a PR marathon for me but I want to put in a good effort there.

Right now I'm signed up for 2 half marathons in 2013 - the New Years's Half on January 5th and the Rock 'n Roll Los Angeles on October 27th. I would like to do at least one more new state next year so will look for something fun to do somewhere but the rest will probably be local halfs.

And then I'll fill in the year with a bunch of 5Ks and 10Ks.

My goal is to drop my PR for the 5K through the marathon next year. I'll flesh that out more the closer we get to 2013 but I wanted to put that out there for now. I also have an idea for my theme for next year but I'll wait on that too.

For now, I want to end on a fun note...I may not be having the greatest month running/riding wise...but I have had some good stuff happen. RIF #72 Natalie (@NattieRuns) was doing a SUPER Fundraising Raffle on her blog and I won not one but TWO items in the raffle! How cool is that? I won an Oiselle shirt and a bling holder from Allied Medal Displays. Allied Medal Displays contacted me last Monday and let me choose the display I wanted and it arrived a couple of days later. This is the one I chose.

Pretty cool, huh? I should be getting the Oiselle shirt this week. I am a lucky runner girl.

I might need a reminder of that every now and then though. Feel free to kick me in the butt if I start whining again. :)