Tuesday, September 3, 2013

It's Not Serious

I think. But it feels like it to me.

So this is what happened since I last blogged...

I had an ultrasound on Sunday, Aug 18th and then had to wait until that Friday to find out the results. The ultrasound wasn’t enough t tell them what was wrong so they scheduled an MRI for me on the 24th and the doctor called me to make sure I didn’t miss it. She said there were multiple masses on in my stomach but they couldn’t see exactly which organs they were in so they could refer me to the proper surgeon. I’d had blood work and a urine test and she said the blood work came back fine but she was worried about the urine test. Oh, and she told me I had gallstones which she said was the least of my worries. Sigh.

The MRI was not fun. I’m not really claustrophobic but I don’t like not being able to move. Plus, it was loud and hot and my back was hurting. It took over an hour. I ALMOST pushed the panic button a couple of times. :( So then I had to wait a week to hear the results for that test. I had been hoping it was fibroids in my uterus because that would have been the “easy” fix so I was disappointed it wasn’t that. And I was a little scared.

My grandmother had polycystic disease and the cysts were in her uterus, liver, and kidneys. Her kidneys stopped functioning because of that and she spent the last years of her life on dialysis. I used to take her to her Saturday treatments and saw how much it took out of her. Of all the things the masses could be, I was praying most it wasn’t that.

It wasn’t that. Thank god. It turns out I have multiple masses on/around my ovaries; the largest is the size of a lemon. My doc wouldn’t say “cysts” and she wouldn’t say “not cancer” and she referred me to an ob/gyn to take it from there. I couldn’t get an appointment until Oct 10th. Sigh. But I am going to call back often to see if there were any cancellations.

Even though she wouldn’t say “not cancer”, I’m going with they are “just” ovarian cysts like my mom had. I still don’t know what that will mean surgery wise. I don’t know if they are just going to take the cysts out or if they’ll have to take other things along with it. I’m still hoping it will be like a 2 week recovery period and not 6 to 8 weeks. A girl can dream.

Running wise…I’m not really running anymore. I am still doing my 1 mile streaksavers but that doesn’t feel like the true spirit of a runstreak? Sometimes I want to do more but I just don’t know if I should. Most days it’s uncomfortable to run because of the swelling in my stomach (which also has been causing back pain). It looks like I’m 6+ months pregnant and at times, it feels like a really bad case of PMS. I still have the nausea and sometimes I feel lightheaded. And of course, I’m tired all the time. Some of that is because I can’t get comfortable at night. I can tell that my body is working to fight what’s wrong with it and I don’t want to do too much and tire my body out while it’s doing this. I have been supplementing the not running with walking and doing a lot of spring cleaning. I’ve also been trying to stay away from Twitter and Facebook because while I’m happy for all of you and your running/racing…I’m also jealous!

And sad. I miss running. I miss the endorphins. I miss being out on the trail. I’m nervous to go out by myself right now (because of the lightheadedness) and I’m too slow to go with anyone so I put that on hold. A friend asked me if I would rather be running or alive. I said both!

I thought it was really kind of ironic that I couldn’t get an appointment until Oct 10th…the day after I will reach my 1 year runstreak anniversary. I just hope I can at least get my 1 mile a day in until them. Though some days I don’t care, I know that I will be pissed at myself if I give up. And a part of me hopes that I will miraculously get better every day.

A runner girl can dream.

11 comments:

  1. Lisa! We hate this for you! And we hate that you keep having such a waiting game with doctors and tests! Can't even imagine how hard that is! We'll keep our fingers crossed that the obgyn does have a cancellation and you can get in sooner! We've been thinking about you a lot! Proud of you for taking care of you and not pushing yourself too hard!

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    1. Oopsies, I meant to send that from LifeisaRun =) Now I look like I think I'm two people in one! lol =)

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    2. Thanks Beth :) And I knew you meant you and Teal. :) I really appreciate your support (both of you)!

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  2. Sending you well wishes for quick recovery and good health. I will be sending you happy running vibes your way on my next runs. #coyotestaystrong.
    Alexb214

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  3. Hang on tough lady. Just know I am thinking about you and hoping for a quick recover. And, yeah, this ain't fair and I hate the hell out of it. One thing sure, the doctors will never have had a patient of you toughness/conditioning/endurance, and intelligence too. Go straight at it, Lisa. You'll come through it. We all want you to! - Dallas

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  5. I had no idea, Lisa. Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Keeping you in my prayers.

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  6. Girl, that is outrageous that they are making you wait until October with your diagnosis. Lemon size cyst/not cancer??? You need to demand to get in before then or go to a new doctor. I've learned you have to fight for good health care. If you wait a month, how much bigger could it get? What if it pops? I think you really need to fight for your health!!!

    Praying for you! Hang in there!!!

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  7. Continuing to pray for you. Keep up with the streak, but be smart about it, you will thank yourself later.

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  8. Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes! It means a lot to me. :)

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