I am going to be so glad to see the backside of October this year. I did have some good, fun days but the bad ones put a damper on even those. October was an emotionally and physically draining month for me and despite the fact that I slept a lot and didn't do much, I was tired the whole month.
My running and riding is almost back to normal. I would say my leg is at 95% now. There's just a slight twinge when I run and still a slight bump but it's much, much better. I did lose some fitness which I can feel when I workout. Probably for a few reasons. 1, I wasn't running and riding a whole lot. 2, I wasn't doing strength or core work. And 3, I ate like crap. :( I've grown soft. I am going to have to work hard in November to get back to where I was.
I've also been battling with a lack of motivation this month. I felt burnt out but how can that be when I wasn't even working out at all for half the month? I have been really frustrated with myself because of that and that's made me cranky. It was just all kind of a downward spiral.
Then on Tuesday, my uncle Dario passed away. He'd been having trouble with his heart for awhile. In fact, at the beginning of the summer, the doctor's gave him one month to live but he was stronger than they thought. My mom, grandpa, and I visited him on Sunday and he didn't look good. He went into the hospital that night but they were still planning for hospice care once they got him stable. But then...he was gone. So even though I knew he was bad, I was shocked. I know in my heart that he is in a better place and that he's not suffering anymore. I miss him though. It's hard to believe that someone so full of life and so giving to others is gone. I can't tell you how glad I am that I was able to see him one last time before he passed away.
This all got me thinking.
When I hurt my leg, I had a lot of downtime while I recovered and I started watching Fringe. I'm now watching season 3 and a big part of Fringe is the concept of an alternate universe. Being a SciFi geek, I'm familiar with this concept from other stories and shows like Star Trek: Next Generation. In fact, yesterday I explained this concept to some coworkers, complete with drawings and diagrams. Yes, their eyes glazed over just like when I talk about running!
Anyway, I was thinking...it sure would be nice if I could have an alternate October. One where I took a different route that Saturday. One where I didn't crash. One where my legs were strong and fast. One where I raced the hell out of the Hurricane JEM. One where my uncle was still here.
But hey, if I'm going to dream of an alternate universe, why not dream big? In my alternate universe, Alternate Lisa is:
*A lean, mean running machine
*Living in Scotland
*Rich enough to retire early and travel the world
*Surrounded by all the family she's lost
But...I am not living in an alternate universe so if I want Alternate Lisa's life, I have to do something about it. Of course, I can't do anything about the last one but I can do something about the others. Or at least work towards them.
So, I'm looking forward to November and a fresh start. There are two months left in the year and I intend to rock them! I am going to kick myself in the backside whenever I start feeling unmotivated or lose focus. I'm going to finish my Year of Running strong and in charge.
No more excuses.