In January, I wrote this post on Run It Fast: Inspiring Women of 2011. In it, I listed Chrissie Wellington as one of the women who inspired me. Not only does she inspire me with her amazing athletic abilities but also her work with charity and the joyful attitude she shares with everyone.
I'd told Rowena (@rowenanews) how much she inspired me when Rowena mentioned she was going to get to meet her in person. Well, unbeknownst to me, Rowena got to meet her twice and the 2nd time she met her she did this:
Woo! An autographed copy of Chrissie's book! Is that not cool or what?!?! Not only that but Rowena told Chrissie about me and she showed her my blog and my photo. Even better was the note that Rowena wrote to me. I started crying when I read it because I really needed to hear what she said.
I know that I came off sounding positive about my race on Sunday but there was a patch where I was in a dark place. I was really frustrated about another race not going as planned and seriously doubting my abilities. I know that my foot issues aren't a reflection of that but I was still mad. Mad at myself for going past the 1st aid station. Mad at my foot for hurting. Mad at the running gods for throwing another challenge in my path. Frankly, I am ready for the "growing" to be done and to just have a nice, easy...FAST race.
So around mile 9, I felt like screaming and kicking something. I felt like crying. I even had a moment where I thought about dropping out of the running world. I mean, really, what could I possibly share with anyone that was worth anything? Except be a lesson in what not to do. I was going to shut down my twitter account, shut down the blog, tell Josh I couldn't do anymore Run It Fast posts, and stop racing! Total pity party. But after a bit, I felt better and even got to a point where I was laughing at myself. When I got to one of the checkpoints, I told the guy that I was going super slow so he could see my number and it wouldn't be a blur. He laughed. And then I joked about it with a couple near the end and reminded them that fast is relative. They said I had a great attitude and I smiled wryly to myself thinking if only they'd seen me a few miles ago.
So I was in a much better place at the end. It WAS a good day. Still...when the RD emailed the link to the results last night, I had no desire to look at them. I finally did today and was really surprised that I wasn't last. Or 2nd to last. Not that it matters. Rowena didn't say I'd inspired her because I won a race. Josh didn't give me another Run It Fast assignment today because I bring home hardware from a race. And a twitter peep didn't ask me for advice because I'm going to the Olympics. None of that matters to them. They only care that I run! Why do I keep forgetting that?
I sometimes don't get why people think I'm inspirational but I do appreciate when someone lets me know. It makes me feel good to know that I've contributed in some way to another person's running/training. If someone inspires you, you should let them know. It just might make their day when they need it the most!
